MY COUSIN LUCIANA

todd and i started this blog as a way to share some of the small, everyday things that are happening in our life with our new son, huck. but last week something happened that didn't feel at all small or everyday. last week, my dear cousin luciana died from cancer at the far-too-young age of 39 years old.

luciana is one of my three cousins from brazil. she has two younger brothers, raul and marcelo; her mother, vera, is my mom's sister; and she and i share a grandmother, our vovo zilda. luciana lived most of her life in brazil, but in her mid-twenties she moved to santa cruz, california. there are a lot of brazilians in santa cruz, and not long after moving there, she established a group of incredibly sweet, incredibly supportive friends. she also met an australian, james, who eventually became the father of her two children, joshua (6 years old) and lucas (3 years old).

lu and james moved to australia with josh about five years ago, and a couple of months after lucas was born, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. eight months after her mastectomy and first round of chemotherapy, the cancer came back in her spine. she endured another round of chemo, but eight months later, there was more cancer found in her liver; and this time, it proved to be too strong for her body to resist.

lu died a couple of days after lucas' third birthday. she was in the hospital and slipped away in the middle of the night. because she knew that her condition was very serious, she reached out to her friends and family in her last few days. she spoke to her son josh about her illness, told him the hopes and dreams she had for him, and let him know how much she loved him. she wrote letters to her friends, saw her family on a skype webcam, and told james that she wanted the kids to scatter her ashes under a tree that they could visit and water regularly.

in oregon, we are about 18 hours behind australian time and as i am writing this, people in australia are gathering at a sailing club by the beach to attend lu's memorial. my mom spoke to james a few hours ago and he had just come back from buying the boys some new shirts. james told her that the venue was just what lu wanted, that the songs being played were the ones that lu chose, and that lu did not want anyone attending to be sad. this is so incredible to me, and so indicative of luciana's personality: she was always - i mean always - positive. in fact, every time i think of her, i see her smiling, laughing, and moving around happily (she had an adorable figure and was always dancing and talking in an animated way).

i really miss her. we all really miss her. and because it was one of her last requests, i am trying to not be sad about her being gone. instead, and for our version of her memorial, we are lighting a candle and thinking of all of the reasons why we admire her, appreciate her, and are grateful for the time we had with her. lu, we all love you so much. xo.